Wriggle Out!

The Door to Happiness Series

Welcome to the third part of the Door to Happiness Series! 

Just a recap, the first part was “We Must Be Happy” because just like couples – married or dating – singles ought to be happy, too! The second part “Face the Big Bad Wolf”  talked about us facing our fears that may partly hinder us as we work our way towards happiness. This one, the third of the series, encourages us to soar, to reach for our happiness in our single-blessedness.

Last time, we turned the knob to open towards our happiness. This time, with the door now open, we are going to take the stairs to reach the top.

Let us liken our pursuit of happiness to the flight of stairs. The steps of the stairs correspond to the actions or things we need to do to acquire complete happiness. The steps are like the things we need to do to reach our dream.

Photo by FlashBuddy | www.pixabay.com

As we go up, the gravity pulls us harder, the journey becomes tougher but as we near the top, the progress is sweeter . We will reach it; we just have to focus our eyes on the goal.

After my depression, when I started to stand up on my feet, it was hard. I was like a cripple that was re-learning to walk. I needed therapy. This was where I “climbed the stairs”. The first step was the hardest but therapy was in order. It started with myself. I accepted the fact that if I would stay where I was, I would not move forward. I need to take the baby step and walk.

Prayer was a great help. It’s one of my therapies. I don’t think I would be able to come out of my depression and heal without praying. Up to this day, prayer helps me. My prayer evolved to praying through music, though. Every morning as soon as I settle on my desk (I have a day job) I would play my inspirational (liturgical) music while I turn on my laptop and review my “must-do” list while sipping coffee on the side.

Then I got a job. Work helped me look forward for something – a salary that would help my family and me, as I was one of the breadwinners. Not only that, my work also helped me socialize, to mingle and meet new friends. These friends helped me heal, in one way or another. They did not know it, but they helped me.

Reading and writing became one of my therapies, too. At the time though, I did not write as frequent as these past few years. Nonetheless, writing became helpful because I was able to express my feelings – pain, sadness, anger. After writing them down, either I would shred the paper to pieces or burn it to ashes. Symbolically, I was freeing myself from the burden.

Your struggle may not be the same as mine but it is still a journey to happiness. When we climb to the top, challenge would be present. The challenge could be a person, a thing, an event, a place, a memory, an emotion, or our self. Most of the time it’s our own self. The saying “we are our own enemy” holds true.

When we keep the jealousy, the anger, the self-loathing, we become our own prisoner. When we don’t forgive the person who wronged us, when we don’t forgive ourselves, we put a great limit to our happiness. Our own self becomes our greatest enemy; an enemy that we should wriggle out of.

In pursuit of happiness, I realized that I must be free first. We must be free first from our self-imprisonment. We must first love ourselves. Then, we would recognize that we have God-given talent. We could cultivate this talent to attain happiness. Yes, we have our own limitations, but who has none? As single, we have time as our ally because we have lots of it. Let’s use it while we still can, if we are waiting for the right one to come.

Let’s ponder on this:

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy
in whatever situation I may be;
for I have also learned from experience
that the greater part of our happiness or misery
depends upon our dispositions,
and not upon our circumstances.
~ Martha Washington
(1st US First Lady, 1731-1802)



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